I get why 2018 was such a difficult year for me and why I had to go through so much pain and heartache. God was freeing me from a relationship and a life that was stifling me, keeping me from my greater purpose, from HIS plan for me. I knew He had more in store for me, better things. And I knew I just had to get through the hard, with faith and perseverance. It didn’t make it any easier in the moment, but I knew it deep down inside.
From February 2018 to July 2020 I was lost. I convinced myself that what I was doing was “therapy” and I even talked myself into being in a relationship that wasn’t good for me…or him. My friends all knew it. Shit…I knew it. I just didn’t want to accept it. But I finally said enough…I can’t keep pretending that this is what my life is supposed to look like, that this is the person God brought me through all that heartache for. Nope…it wasn’t right.
I woke up. I made a decision not to settle for anything less than amazing. I turned back to God with more faith and devotion than I had in a while. And He orchestrated His perfect plan. I get it now. And I am so grateful and happy and blessed. And I’ve never known this to be more true…God is GOOD. He is good ALL THE TIME.
Okay so what has happened since I last blogged (I can’t believe it’s been two years)? Well, I met a boy. LOL. I said that last time and it still makes me giggle. Here’s the deal…I’m not one of those women who can’t function without a man. But I know myself and I like to be in a relationship. Despite what a few poor choices in my past might say, my happy place is in a monogamous relationship with a man who (cue the cheese) completes me. (Side note…Jerry McGuire is one of my very favorite movies of all time. Judge me all you want. I don’t care. It had me at hello. And yes, I am cracking myself up.). So I kicked the not-good-for-me dude to the curb and got back out there. Getting “back out there” during 2020 was a challenge to say the least. But what did I have to lose (besides the “quarantine 15” I had gained)?
On July 22, 2020 I swiped right for the very last time (I promise…this is it…I found the one…trust me). We talked, we met, we kissed (I promise…that’s all…just a good night kiss), and we fell in love. QUICKLY! Like it was scary how fast it happened. But the old saying is true…when you know, you know. Especially when you’re almost 50 years old, been married and divorced twice and been around the block a few times. You know when it’s right.
Fast forward to a week before the one year anniversary of that first date and here we are…living together and creating a future together, more in love than either of us ever thought possible. Thank you Jesus! You knew it all along, you had a plan, I was a dummy and didn’t listen, but I finally did and things are really working out.
So that’s what I’ve been up to for the last couple of years. Falling in love. Oh and I went back to the bank I used to work for for 13 years. I’m doing mortgage loans again. And yes I’m still running my other business (DUH…won’t ever quit that). I realized that I’m better when I’m busier. Anyone relate to that? I am happier, more productive, more motivated, more successful…all the things. Life is so damn good right now that I have to wonder what I did to deserve all these incredible blessings! But guess what? I didn’t do anything but believe in and trust my Father. He’s got me in the palm of His hands and He, like any good father, wants His children to be happy and loved and to flourish. And He wants all that for you too. How amazing is that?!
To be continued…
T.
Authentically T. 